Ideally, visitation plans are flexible. Ask most divorced parents about child visitation rights, and you're likely to hear some discontent about the situation. Week-long visits should not occur until the child has mastered weekends, or even four-day visits. Lengthy separations from the nursing parent can seriously jeopardize the breastfeeding relationship when the baby is young. How to Create a Standard Visitation Schedule for Non-Custodial Parents, How to Use a Galactagogue to Increase Breast Milk, How to Plan a Parenting Schedule That Works for Everyone Involved, Sample Child Visitation Schedules for Parents, Your Baby’s Erratic Sleep Patterns Are Nothing to Worry About, Study Finds, How to Handle Your Kids' Separation Anxiety During Visits With Your Ex. (See our Email Privacy Policy for details.) Again it may be necessary to retain the services of an expert or to request that the court order a child custody evaluation if you still cannot agree. Arrangements should be flexible enough to take into account the child’s needs. In 2011, the Pennsylvania Superior Court, in J.R.M, vs. TheGuid… Thank you for your interest in New Beginnings. Parents who are locked in a separation battle involving infant children often call and ask what type of custody or “time-sharing” schedules are available for infant children. Help the baby feel that both parents respect the baby’s needs and care about how the baby feels. If parents cannot decide which custody arrangement and access schedule is best for their family, the Court will evaluate the case, ... the flexibility of both parents’ work schedules and the child’s ... it is important to maintain the infant’s basic sleep, feeding and waking cycles. Additionally, while common concerns are raised about a child’s feeding schedule, naptime, etc., they are not determinative of parenting time. A child normally doesn’t ever want to stop what they is doing. Jennifer Wolf is a PCI Certified Parent Coach and a strong advocate for single moms and dads. Schedules … Most psychologists agree there should be no overnight visitation for very young children. It can be even more difficult for breastfeeding moms to come up with the best visitation schedule. Visitation Schedule) Considerations: 1. If the parents can’t get along, they need a specific visitation plan that involves frequent, daily if possible, visits with the co-parent, regardless of the age of the child. Remember that medical questions and legal questions should be directed to appropriate health care and legal professionals. Section 7(1)(b) of the Child Custody Act states: “Parenting time of the child By submitting this form, you are granting: La Leche League USA, 306 Glenn Avenue For infants, 7 to18 months of age overnights are only recommended, if appropriate. If you'd like to begin longer visits, but your ex is resistant because of breastfeeding, talk with her to find out: Consistent, frequent visits provide the opportunity to bond, and that's really the goal behind establishing a visitation schedule. However, some courts will not order overnight visitations at all until a child reaches the age of 3, so you may want to check out the child custody laws in your state before filing a motion to request overnights. Do You Need to See a Lactation Consultant? Either your ex isn't complying with the schedule or maybe there are more serious issues where you're worried about your child's safety. By continuing to browse the site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. A common visitation schedule will give the noncustodial parent overnight visits every other weekend and a few hours during the week. This perception should be avoided. Some people assume that if the breastfeeding relationship needs to be protected, and the primary bond with the nursing parent is not to be disrupted, then the co-parent’s attachment must be of secondary importance. More and more health benefits to the nursing parent and baby are being discovered every day. This is for several reasons: 1) Babies need more frequent interactions with both parents in order to remember and bond with them; 2) Breastfeeding often necessitates constant interaction with the mother; and 3) Very young children have a strong desire for familiarity. The child should feel that both parents will protect and encourage the co-parent’s relationship with the child, and both will help the child to feel safe. More and more health benefits to the nursing parent and baby are being discovered every day. Because consistent routines are developmentally important for young children, visitation schedules need to assure that the child is returned to the primary home at least Child Guidance…Where Families Find Solutions one hour before bedtime unless the visitation involves an overnight stay. However, this does not mean that lengthy separations are not potentially damaging to the child. As such, some attorneys suggest not making breastfeeding a central issue in your custody arguments. The child should not be made to feel as if the co-parent is pulling them from the nursing parent, or vice versa. For those in the United States, some states have statutes that specifically require breastfeeding/chestfeeding to be considered in custody or visitation decisions. make decisions about when and where they will raise their child? Additional resources are included at the bottom of the page. As an infant grows, breast milk changes to meet the infant’s nutritional needs. When parents separate or divorce, conflicts may arise between the nursing parent’s desire to continue breastfeeding and the co-parent’s plans for visitation or custody. And if someone other than the parents needs to fashion a visitation plan, that person should look realistically at what can be accomplished rather than what the parents may want to see happen. Child custody cases are hard enough for parents to cope with, but when the child in question is an infant, coming up with a reasonable and fair custody arrangement is extra trying. Once past infancy, many children continue to nurse, and the health benefits to the child and the nursing parent are still significant. Ideally, you will be able to work with the baby’s mother to create a Do they really want legal battles where total strangers (lawyers, judges, guardians, etc.) The co-parent should always bring the baby back to the nursing parent if the baby is crying for them. Parenting Time (A.K.A. Keep visits short and frequent. These two parents will be raising this child together, not just until age 18 but for the rest of their lives. For example, just because one parent breastfeeds, it does not prevent the other parent from having frequent, and even overnight, parenting time with the minor child. Studies show that the immunities and antibodies in breast milk are more concentrated as the child grows, providing the same protection as in infancy even though the child nurses less. By contacting a local Leader, they may be able to provide or obtain information that is relevant to the law in your state to help you work towards a solution that best meets the needs of your nursing child and the family. LLL USA Leaders cannot provide you with legal advice nor offer you the services of an attorney. Breastfeeding is an important parenting and health choice for both parent and child. Like so many other aspects of parenting, there's no one right answer. • Privacy Policy • Financial InformationLa Leche League USA, 306 Glenn Avenue Lawrenceville, New Jersey 08648, United States, Maintaining the nursing relationship is vital; however, it also is important to consider the child’s relationship with the co-parent and not use b. Alternating Weekends Routine. 2-2-3 schedule, where your baby spends 2 days with one parent, 2 days with the other parent and then 3 days again with the first parent. You may unsubscribe via the link found at the bottom of every email. If the child’s needs are to be a first priority, this attitude must be changed. Alternating every 2 days schedule, where your baby alternates spending 2 days with each parent. U.S. Department of Agriculture. There are alternatives. New babies nurse frequently (every two to three hours) so it may be wise to have shorter visits or even keep the mother nearby. Will it be presented in a bottle or cup? Babies need the love of both their parents, and it should be unnecessary for the courts to pick one relationship over the other, when both are so important. But how can this be accomplished? Short, frequent visits provide the best opportunity to bond. This means it's better for the baby to see the other parent four times a week for two hours at a time than for one eight hour visit per week. A few short visits per week will provide your child with a better opportunity to bond with the other parent than an eight-hour visit once a week. If it's feasible, aim for visits of no less than thirty minutes three to four times per week. Baby’s Hunger Cues. Young children need frequent and continuing contact with both parents, and a close bond with the co-parent is promoted by frequent contact, seeing the co-parent every day if possible, rather than less frequent visits that involve lengthy separations from the nursing parent. Read our, Tips for Creating an Infant Visitation Schedule, Determining a Visitation Schedule for a Breastfeeding Infant. Remember, too, that the visits do not have to be long at this age in order to develop a close relationship and lasting bond. Emails are serviced by Constant Contact. Dependency needs do not last forever. Instead they recommend three non consecutive days per week for up to two hours each day. Breastfeeding/chestfeeding can be protected in family law cases without sacrificing the co-parent’s bond with their children. 5-2 schedule, where your baby spends 5 days with one parent and 2 days with the other parent. Parents talk to each other regularly, looking at their schedules and working together to help their child have frequent contact with both of them. Maybe he comes to take the baby for an hour or two (even more than once a day), or he visits the baby in your home, so you can still keep to his or her feeding schedule … Lawrenceville, New Jersey 08648, United States, http://lllusa.org permission to email you. 4-7. Parents must realize that, although they cannot or will not live together, they have brought a precious human being into this world who has rights and needs. It is important that the child’s needs will be protected by everyone involved. 1, January-February 1996, pp. Nursing parent’s who do not want the co-parent in the child’s life at all have a very difficult and explosive situation to deal with and need excellent representation and evidence to support this request. For instance, if the co-parent works a few minutes away, could they see the child each day on their lunch break? For example, many two-year-old children will ask to spend the night with Dad, if the parents get along well and present the idea as something fun rather than a dreaded event. How to Create a Co-Parenting Schedule for Infants, Ⓒ 2021 About, Inc. (Dotdash) — All rights reserved. But learning your baby's unique cues, like distinguishing a hungry cry from a tired one, takes time. Newborns need to be fed every three to five hours. Also, in drafting your agreement with your co-parent, it is important to discuss if and how breastmilk will be offered while separated from the nursing parent. Note: The information on this page is based in part on the LLL USA New Beginnings article, “The Breastfeeding Relationship and Visitation Plans” by Elizabeth N. Baldwin, JD and Kenneth A. Friedman, JD. What I suggest is that you propose a visitation schedule that is more limited, but expands as the child grows older. Will my child’s father get visitation if I’m breastfeeding? Other states may have prior legal decisions that will guide you and/or your attorney. The tips below will help you create a plan that works for everyone involved: No parent knows from the very first moment what to do 100% of the time.